She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
