I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm both gender and math confused
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
