I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
