so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
