We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
