I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize