I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
