It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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