You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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