You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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