I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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