Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
