I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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