Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
