My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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