What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
