shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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