I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
