the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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