I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
