Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
