Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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