someone get that fucking seahorse.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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