omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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