we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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