can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
