Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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