Your mouth is God's brothel.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
