come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
