Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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