it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
