legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it glows. i had to have it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
