You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
All the doctor said was why
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
