I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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