Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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