What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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