i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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