I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Boobs speak an international language.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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