i was rollin on her like bob the builder
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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