what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
