You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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