So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
