If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
