so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he was CRYING into my vagina
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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