Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
