so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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