Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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