So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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