2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
