I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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