he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
