I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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