apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize