We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
