I am in a vortex of obligation.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize