either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
