i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
