I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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