i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
