Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
