im about as happy as oj after his trial
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize