Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
