am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They took my balls.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize