I wish I could punch you in the face.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
