Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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