I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
