Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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