dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
