This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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